A Message in an Envelope

What a nice surprise yesterday when I went to retrieve the mail.  I reached in the box to find a small brown envelope addressed to both of us.   The envelope had a return address with a name that was unfamiliar to me.  Curiosity led me to quickly open the package marked media mail to find a book inside titled, The Law of Physics Are On My Side written by Walter Haugen.  I bounced down the driveway reading the back and the dedication:

This book is dedicated to Toni Lyons -

crack editor, fellow weeder and best companion.

Every day she gets up and does something positive.

When that is done she does something else that is positive.

My emotions were as raw as meat waiting to be tenderized.  I can't begin to say how I felt while reading this.  Standing at the top of the driveway I was surrounded by trees and I felt hugged. 

I ascertained from the back of the book that Walter is a small farmer who makes a difference every day by feeding people and he wanted us to know that there are others who relate.  I haven't felt this inspired to write something for quite some time,  thank you Walter and Toni for thinking of us.

A gift shared from someone you don't know is like a breath at the end of time, one never knows if or when it's coming.  

Two weeks have passed since we put our property up for sale and I thought it would get easier.  Many emails have been sent to family and friends not only hoping to get the word out, but hoping to find a buyer who appreciates what it has to offer, very few replies have come back.    

Maybe too often I expect others to at least acknowledge the hard work that went into creating this sanctuary that feeds us,  though I remember my New Year's resolution was to give up my expectations and I begin to chastise myself for thinking.  

Walking back down the driveway I decided to hide the book that we just received and present it to my husband tomorrow,  as a "thank you" for all that he has done.  

Inspired by a thoughtful stranger, I sat down to write this letter that flowed out of me in less than 30 minutes.  For me inspiration is so strong when it feels so right.

The letter to my husband, reads:

We received this book in the mail today and I've only read the back and the dedication.  It put a bounce in my step as I wondered how the author had heard of us, but even more important is the fact that he felt a need to reach out when perhaps we needed to hear the message.

You especially have worked so diligently in building our small farm which we both know is going to be so needed if not by us,  then by others who can breathe more life into it.  If we sell, the feather will be placed so justifiably on the side of your cap.  

I think I've learned more in these past 11 years than I will ever learn and together once again we weather the storm and embrace what it is we need to, we always do.

I know you have said that you were not cut out to be a father but then I have to ask who is?  You have never been anyone else than who you are and authenticity is a trait that many strive to have but fall short because they would rather be liked.  I for one struggle with this and have learned from you that one of the most important things we can give and share with each other is honesty, without it, is a world full of lies and deceit which we see so much of today.

Wherever we have lived,  you have always managed to create a sanctuary of peace.  This one is not without sadness as so much of the surroundings are now dying.  Our maple tree that once served as a shelter from the rain is already shedding it's leaves now in June.  Nature is crying in pain and all we can do is watch.  But before me is a splendid garden tended by you with the love and interest of a child painting their dream of a lifetime.  

I look at this work of art and I know how it was mastered, one day at a time, putting one foot before the other.  Positive change can only come from the endeavor to face the truth and work with what you have, offering your physical strength and endurance to persevere through sorrow and pain.

No, I am not your daughter,  I am your wife.  I honor your love and friendship every day and I admire your honesty as a father who has been nothing less than honest with your children just as you have been to yourself.  

Thank you for taking the time to explain and teach most of whom has given you the opportunity.  You have gone from the player on the sidelines who listened,  to a coach in the game with a message.

Happy Father's Day from your wife. 

The Will To Go On

While planting peppers outside last Friday, we took pictures of our bigleaf maples and compared them to some pictures we took in 2011.  What you see here is happening every day before our eyes,  this is collapse up close and personal.

Bigleaf maple over deck 2011

Bigleaf Maples 2011 (one on right is above the deck)

Same one in picture above on left side 2013

Bigleaf maple over deck 2013

I've watched every year since 2007 the changes that have taken place to many of the trees around us, especially noticing the one by our deck.  What was once a big beautiful canopy towering majestically over us is now a mere skeleton.  The leaves (some of what use to be a foot across) are now about half that size.

Recently I read an article posted in the Eugene Weekly here:  http://www.eugeneweekly.com/20130530/about-time/its-about-time-june-2013 stating that it's a "banner year" for the bigleaf maples.  Today I emailed David Wagner to find out exactly what that means?

I remember when the tree over our deck served as a big umbrella, it's branches reaching almost to the ground from the weight.  When sitting under it,  we were completely shaded from the sun and it was quite interesting to look up and see nothing but green.

Umbrella of bigleaf maple by deck 2013

Working outdoors is a mix of bittersweet.  I feel as if I'm on a roller coaster suffering overwhelming feelings of despair and enthusiastic bouts of joy.  My gardens are filled with life this time of the year and I welcome the season of hard work as I remember the tastes of the rewards. 

Making Tomatillo sauce 2012

In 2002 we purchased a small 4WD diesel front end loader tractor with tiller and mower attachments.  I cleared an area of brush, wild blackberries and weeds and brought in a few loads of chicken manure from a local farm.  Along with the 50 yards of Blended Mint Compost we had delivered, we collected maple leaves and grew cover crops of annual clover which I worked into the soil.  This allowed us to grow food for a few years before reading Eliot Coleman's books, Four Season Harvest and The New Organic Grower. 

In 2006 after reading these books (which I highly recommend),  I decided to build all raised beds which would keep the costs low and make the garden easier to manage.  Our decision was based on the size needed for a small community of six people as this was our goal.  Since then we have found  most people don't want to work that hard for food and our community building efforts have failed.

For our design of raised beds, I tilled a large area and used string to mark each one 4' x 28'.  I heaped up soil in between the string and tilled and heaped again until the beds were 10-12" high.  This left a 2' flat walkway between them in which I planted perennial clover.  I continued this process tilling on each side of the finished bed I was working on until all 50 beds were completed.

Garden raised beds planted with onions 2013

Framed hoop house before raised beds, planted with perennial clover 2012

Framed hoop house after raised beds 2013

I have found that this system keeps the integrity of the beds intact (alleviating the need for wood), feeds the bees (which we really need to do), fixes nitrogen and is aesthetically pleasing to look at.  I keep the clover trimmed and use it for mulch.

The beds/garden have not been tilled for over seven years which allows the growth of microorganisms as well as increasing water and decreasing soil erosion.   This method also allows for carbon sequestering by increasing the organic matter that is kept in the soil. We use no chemicals and maintain by cover cropping, composting, mulching, companion planting and crop rotations and all maintenance is done using hand tools...manual labor.

Crop rotation chart for lower garden

Our wide variety of flowers and herbs help with pest management and our ducks are allowed in the garden at the end of the season to clean up.

Ancona ducks in Spring garden 2012

I sit under my skeleton of a bigleaf maple that is dying while I peer down into the garden that is full of life.  Even though the majority of the work has been done, I'm now 11 years older and even the maintaining has become too much to handle.  Our property is now up for sale;  such a great find for those who are not afraid of hard work and can appreciate knowing where their food comes from. 

Main garden below April 2013

Main garden 2012

'Tis the Season

 Spring is here again and the fruit trees appear like white lace on green velvet.  Oregon is so pretty this time of the year.  Normally the hum of bees can be heard from a distance but even though there isn’t much noise in the country these days, I have yet to hear the bees, even while standing under the cherry trees.  The days have been warm and sunny and I wonder if the blooms on our fruit trees will get pollinated this year.  Recently we've had lows below freezing and yet this Sunday is suppose to be close to 90 for the high.  How will we continue to grow food with such huge temperature swings?  I'm waiting for signs at the Farmer's market stating, "closed for remodeling".  Every year we hope to see if nature will be forgiving once again, but we know hope is not a strategy.

This past Saturday I was visited by Jehovah Witnesses and I rejoiced in our agreement of how the system is coming down, though I told them I disagreed that horses from the sky would save me.  I explained politely that I’ve done my reading and most of what I agree with is based on science not just another story that I’m told to believe.  I asked them if they ever thought about the bees and what would happen to our food without them, they too agreed that we are so dependent on nature to reward us with life.  This thought keeps me going as I wait to eat the fruit of the garden.

I’m often asked what it is that gets me up in the morning and motivated to work as though it matters what I’m doing.  Sometimes I don’t even think about it when I begin another day but then there are those times that I ask myself the same question.  I think about the variety of ways I answer as it depends on how sad, angry or loving I feel.  My emotions dictate the way I feel at any given time and sometimes I have to acknowledge them whatever they may be, but I also acknowledge at least one thing of beauty every day and here on the property that’s not hard.

Oregon Iris- like painted nature 

I lived for so long in the material world of consumerism and counted on things of no substance to entertain me, now I watch birds.  After tilling an area in our newly discovered pasture for planting raspberries, I watched our chickens scratch and dig in the soil vociferously disturbing the worms.  I watch butterflies puddling in the soil after watering and I walk the garden paths looking for new shoots of food that will satisfy my hunger while noticing the volunteers that are happy to visit again.  I love living.  

Some have asked us, “if you know that the gig is almost up, why do you continue to work so hard?”  I think about this quite a bit and my answer though it may sound flippant is "what else do you expect me to do?"  Do you expect me to lay in bed in a dreamlike state hoping that the economy will pick up full speed and zoom ahead?  I so remember pretending, though it was years ago with my Barbie dolls on the front porch.  Maybe some expect I might take my life but why would I take it now when it's so real and authentic? No matter how tired, disgruntled, angry or bitter I may be, the ability to live in a way that allows me to give back every day is all I need to keep me going.  It’s my breathing tube that keeps me alive.  I can't play dead. 

When we named our blog, I had just begun to embrace collapse and though I had mixed feelings about embracing something so horrific I never questioned it.  I knew deep down I would have to accept it somehow and why not embrace the love that I have for the beautiful place I’ve lived for over half of my life?  Its no one’s fault but my own that I didn’t pay more attention to the real side of it, the deep down feeling of seeing something so beautiful.  Today I see the beauty as well as rotting decay, like a healthy tooth that has been eaten away by sweetness.  

I now live like a hospice patient who wakes up in the morning sometimes with hope and often with regret, rethinking all the things that I or others could of done differently.  Life is so precious that to not live it every day to the best of one’s ability would be a sheer waste of energy, resources and time which we’re running out of all three.  I embrace collapse and I cry a lot.  I share thoughts with other like minded folk and I thank them for helping me understand the incomprehensible.  I embrace their words of love and compassion when they speak of their daily experiences.  Voices from all over the country and beyond.  I enjoy their stories of how they sow and what they reap.  A face I’ve never seen with a voice so kind and tender is a welcomed respite.  Others I’ve met along the twisted path of emotions growing as we learn, dying as we watch, and loving unconditionally.

Since writing my last post (the beginning of the year) I’ve been thinking more about what it is we really need.  I think about love, compassion and empathy.  I often wonder how I can know what I know and still love, when it’s so easy to hate what we have done.  I'm more gracious to those for inspiring me to continue on or those who support me when I feel like I can't.  
  
The beginning of a new year unfolded before my eyes as February rolled around and Valentines Day became a reminder of more propaganda;  forcing lovers to give in some of the most expensive ways.  Love by means of exploitation.  Precious land being mined for brilliant stones that say, “I love you”, and cards bought and paid for with words written by someone else.  I remember the days spent shopping for the right one that said exactly what I wanted it to say.  Never did it dawn on me then to write a verse of my own using my own thoughts.  February is a month of memories for me.  A meaningful wedding I missed and a death that I tried to be there for.  Memories are wonderful reflections of what we have left, and to hold on to just those that are happy teaches us little about despair.

Recently my husband and I watched a documentary, Citizen King, and I cried to think about the days of real protest and how those days may be over for us.  The sound of feet marching together made me wish to have been a part of that protest, not this one.  I so often feel like I don’t belong in this life with my feelings.  Maybe like my husband said, we lack the moral courage now to stand, whether it’s for something we know is right or against something we know is wrong.  Like seasons that come and go,  we too swing in the balance as if it’s the only thing we can do and denying becomes the norm.

Spring here in Oregon is anything but normal, but we also know that normal changes all the time.  Maybe this summer will be the last good growing season to “put up” or “shut up” as what we think of as the norm for growing food is rapidly changing along with many other things.  

Changing skies on the Oregon Coast

A New Year's resolution...without expectations

Though I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions, this year I will be resolute to live without having expectations of other people.  I’m through with expecting anything of anyone else except myself. It’s been an abysmal few years since we began to network with those who know, talk to others who don’t know and continue to plough ahead without becoming bitter, angry or resentful.  I already feel like such a load has been removed from my back that I can actually straighten my knees once again. 

Kind of funny to think of a resolution where I won’t be expecting any results, how does that work?  Well I don’t have a clue, but I do know that I’m tired of being let down every time I expect someone to understand the predicament we're in and quickly make amends to a system that no longer works for the majority.  Like we've said here before, we have no illusions about saving us but how about riding out the storm on our terms not theirs?  

We can't even have a dialog where we ask questions and get answers, and I’m not saying the answers you want to hear, but answers.  You know something that has a little logic in it.  See how easy it is to expect something, why would I assume that you would get an answer that actually has something to do with the question?  Even when changing the question around and wording it differently you still get the same results and sometimes a look of disdain from those you’re asking as if you’re prodding them with a hot poker or torturing their senses.

I can’t help but think this will be a freeing year for me, if I can accomplish my task and I know it’s a big one for me.  Throughout my life I’ve expected one thing or another.  Friends to be honest, loved ones to be trustworthy, employers to pay me, doctors to heal me, insurance companies to provide, chickens to lay, ducks to forage, husband to grow food (though this one is a shared commitment), and emails as a form of communicating (boy was I wrong on this one).  

Anymore it seems like people have become less dependent on others and more dependent on things.  Things that they think make their lives easier.  Things that help to create jobs that pay $8.95 an hour, whoo hoo! Oregon raised the minimum wage.  Just what kind of jobs are these and how many years of college do you need to get one?    

Maybe after years of trying to build community I finally understand there is no foundation to even begin to put the blocks on.  We’ve lost our ability to depend on one another.  And just because I hold up my end of the bargain does not mean that you’ll hold up yours. 

The start of a new year.

 I once believed that friends and family could come together to talk about differences and actually resolve issues that we may have from year to year, but not anymore.  We learn what we want to know and grow in a way that’s conducive to what we’ve learned, and sometimes we can be miles apart with where we get our information from.  Then there are times we learn what we think we want to know about, then forget just as quickly or unlearn because we can’t live the way we want to knowing it.  The web gets more intricate with outsiders as our communication skills erode. 

Imagine just the simple question that got asked all the time years ago, “excuse me, but do you know what time it is?”  I had to laugh when a lady asked me this just the other day, it really through me off base and I scrambled to pull up my sleeve to view my watch before she walked away!  It was such a nice interaction as I smiled and gave her the time and she smiled back and said, “thank you.”

We seem to expect more from our cell phones and gadgets that we control with our fingers then our own thought processes.  I can’t wait to see how we as a species do without these things.  How long will it take for us to reprogram ourselves to begin to expect again from others what we expect from ourselves?   Maybe some don’t even expect from themselves anymore, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Today I received an email from a retired co-worker about the bargaining between workers and CenturyLink (the roots of the old “bell” system).  Us employees of the old “bell” system poked fun at each other for being “bell heads” as we were all raised the same way with excellent training and thought processes that were not our own but provided good customer service nonetheless.  We benefited from good paying jobs that provided for our families.  Now we’re lucky if we can see a doctor once a year without paying towards our $6000 deductible that as a couple we never reach in a year.  I know I don’t have a right to complain and I’m not, I just don’t understand why we lay down without a fight, but I guess we’ll all be dying of something or another before long.  Maybe I should put my money where my mouth and hands are and buy stock in medical gloves and alcohol.  Seems reasonable to me. 

Companies now have the upper hand with workers and the workers (union workers mind you) have no more voice.  Sure they still have feet to march out of the workplace but don’t walk too fast as your replacements will be there before you’re out the door.  Oh my!  Not the replacements!  I sometimes think about all those workers who came before us and all the battles they fought to get us a little further ahead only for it to be lost now to a new generation of “be happy, you got a job people”.  Unfortunately we’re becoming more like a third world power every day and hopefully before long we’ll get pissed off enough to actually make a difference in the majority’s life, the 99%.

Hopefully 2013 will the year when the bottom falls out and we all have to learn how to depend not only on each other but the system that gives and provides for us.  Tangibles we can sink our words and worth into.  Until then, I will live this year with no hope that others will do what’s needed for all of us to rise up for the next celebration.

Willing to work for food

There are many nice things about living in Oregon and one of them begins to happen this time of the year and is welcomed for those who work for food.  It's what brings us the long winter and the short growing season: rain.

The end of the growing season prompts a fire drill every year as summer turns into fall.  Hours spent harvesting, cleaning, preserving and storing for the winter months leaves us with a lot less energy than we started with. 

Four cords of wood sit waiting to be stacked and everywhere we look, we see work.  The three hours we spent coring, peeling and cutting up apples for drying this past week will be a nice snack this winter while sitting in front of a warm fire with a cup of tea.

All the effort we put forth to secure what sustains us helps to make life easier especially in the winter when the power goes out and food is just a jar away.  Most items we grow cost the same amount of work for us year after year as long as we're both healthy enough to work for it.  Compared to the prices at the grocery store, our costs are little for the wholesome food we get. 

We even made a little money to add to our coffer this harvest when an ad on Craigslist solicited a phone call within 30 minutes of posting our surplus garlic.  We were hoping to barter for storage onions and/or potatoes but selling it paid for our seeds this season and hopefully next year we won’t have to buy as many as I’ve been saving what I can. 

One of the tables we normally eat at is covered with bowls of seeds and beautifully colored drying beans as well as bright orange Calendula blossoms that will be infused in oil when they dry.

Tiger Eye Beans

You’ll always find gallon size jugs of Kombucha brewing on the kitchen counters but now they keep company with other glass jars appearing as science experiments gone bad. 

Lovely jars with red colored floating masses in them are labeled with the names Hillbilly Potato, Hungarian Heart and Brandywine, (stayed tune as next week the names will change). 

Anyone that knows us and ventures to visit this time of the year will walk from room to room smelling a six course dinner ranging from kraut and tomato sauce to dried apples and strawberries while the sourdough bread is baking in the oven.

Three Brandywine of the same vine

The smells never let us forget the amount of work we’ve done or the rewards of growing most of what we eat and being able to go to the window to see where it comes from.

Filderkraut Cabbage

Looking down at the main garden below I watch as our Ancona ducks pace back and forth with babies in tow waiting for the day they’ll be free to roam beyond the fenced area where we contain them for the growing season. 

I’m sure they can feel the slime of snails go down as they dream of banana slugs that they eat bit by bit, though I haven’t seen many of these creatures yet this year in the garden.

The babies were born the end of August and are suited up in their uniforms of yellow, black and brown; even their feet are striped. 

Mama with her babies

Early on they managed to escape through the field fencing with mama following, squeezing through.  They quickly found the low hanging fruit.  We scurried down to the garden and discovered mama with a red chest thinking she had cut herself on the fence, but instead she was enjoying the medicinal qualities of the elderberries.  They have to be the healthiest ducks as we supplement their foraging with shredded zucchini, tomato pulp from the juicer and apple peels.

The chickens too have been caught in the compost like dumpster divers digging for treats.  They are so fussy this time of year and can afford to turn their beaks up to anything that isn't sweet.

Sweet to me will be the sound of rain falling outside as I'm curled up inside with a good book on a soft sofa or a nice chair behind a spinning wheel where the feel of fleece will pass through my fingers before I get the pleasure of feeling it’s warmth as it covers me.

Before then the oak leaves need to be raked, as they will serve as blankets to the blueberries that were picked so long ago.  I remember the enthusiasm I started with at the beginning of the season compared to the way I feel now and it serves as a measure of how willing I am to work for food.

The Believers

Marshmallow in bloom

Was thinking as I worked in the garden watering the Marshmallow and admiring its first bloom.  Why is it that many of the climate change deniers in our country believe in some form of organized religion and probably God?  Some of the older folks we know have always worked hard, been responsible and believed in the American dream…retirement.  When the subject of climate change, economic “downturn” (what a joke) and mostly anything to do with the collapse of our current system, they only respond with “it’s a shame we can’t do anything about it”.  Fact is they truly believe that there isn’t a damn thing to be done so they go on living the same way hoping for different results.

Us, on the other hand do not believe in any form of organized religion but believe in humans.  Wow, did I just say that?  What’s up with that?  How can we believe that people are capable of doing something different when we don’t have many personal examples to choose from?  Instead we part ways with family and friends disagreeing about many things including our negativity (as they call it) and who will be the next president (as if that makes a difference), I know hope is on the way.  Have to admit though, I did buy into the Clinton’s when Billy Bob won, remember that song?  Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow, it will soon be here, yesterday’s gone.  Yep, sure is.

Hopefully Fleetwood Mac made money on that, at least someone other than the Clinton's.

It’s fun, as George Carlin would say to ponder thoughts such as: I wonder if things would have been different had John, Bobby and Martin lived?  Hell throw in Gandhi, John Lennon and for that matter how about Jesus?  I certainly would have more faith and belief if these were some of the people in charge today.  How about you? 

We’ve had some say that it’s just our destination to destroy and die, but what if we’re reborn?  Just a thought, it’s fun to do this.  What if we have to get it right or go to hell?  If we stick around long enough we won’t even have to leave to get there. 

Seriously though, why can’t people look at the Vandana Shiva’s of the world or Arundhati Roy’s?  Now there are two women that will put a spark to a burned out fire.  How would they handle Monsanto?  Or even Coca-Cola for that matter.  How about Vandana Shiva as the Chief of Agriculture or maybe John Perkins as the head of Homeland Security or The Ambassador to the United Nations?

I’m sure there are many others who believe as we do; that humans are capable of changing.  Call me a namedropper, but another favorite of mine, Daniel Quinn.  Ever read “If they give you lined paper, write sideways”?  Hope you didn’t stop at Ishmael, there is much more to being an anthropologist, it’s fun too.

In Living Color

Sarcasm is good for the soul, it helps to poke fun at ridiculous things and laugh while you’re doing it.  Have to continue to laugh or at least smile.  See, doesn’t it feel great?

So I wonder what it is with these people not thinking that we may be able to “turn the table” (another thing Daniel Quinn likes to do)?  I wonder if they’ve ever read, “Snakes in Suits”?  A great read about psychopaths and their behavior.  Connect the dots; the picture is great even without the 3D glasses.
  

Not many want to believe some of the best ones are in charge.  Who wants to believe that we have psychopaths running things?  Kind of scary, huh?  I’d rather be controlled by aliens; at least it would be like boarding a ride at Disneyworld.  Weeeee… what a trip!  Better than this one, I guarantee you.

I find it strange that we tried building community for over eight years and we still believe that humans are capable of playing a different game.  Ask for a re-deal, they’re cheating. 

Even friends of ours, yes we do have a few tell us we’re crazy to think people can share living arrangements and resources.  They laugh when we tell them that generally speaking (though that’s stretching it) that people are lazy, they lack motivation and belief.  OMG, there’s that word again, “belief”, maybe we need to reexamine what we do believe in.  There’s many to choose from let’s see, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, (is that with a capital E?).  I think the “guy” in V is for Vendetta is a believable character and the mask was a cool idea.

How could so many buy into the propaganda (lies)?  Seriously, how could they?

How many of you remember Clove gum?  How did we get from Clove to Juicy Fruit, I want to know.  I loved Juicy Fruit.  The bright yellow packet made me “believe” it was packed full of sun ripened fruit, really?  I’m sure glad I gave up the gum habit years ago. For a long time though I was on the “sugarless” kick, it was great never mind the phenylalanine and aspartame.

Seeing is believing

So many things we can all believe in and we do.  I believe that we can grow food here as we’ve done so over and over again but it doesn’t mean that it will happen all the time.   

The last couple of summers here in the PNW have been non-existent.   Seems like we have two seasons either spring and winter or spring and fall.  This year if we see the sun it’s usually 2 in the afternoon or later.  The Weather Channel says the high temps are 80 degrees or more but if the sun doesn’t come out until 2 or later and the high temp isn’t reached before 4, then the moisture we wake up with takes longer to dissolve creating the perfect environment for mold.  Believe me, we know, as we’ve already had to pull tomato plants up.  Our beliefs in growing food lessen and we begin to see the dependencies we have on many things including light and sun. 

 

Oh well, if I don’t believe I’ll wake up in the morning, maybe I'll just stay awake and when the sun comes up, I’ll believe I’m here to welcome a new day.  Isn't it fun to believe in what happens.

Bringing Home the Honey

During one of my weekly visits to town and while reading to sleep a hospice patient, my husband was running around the property here at home frantically trying to capture a swarm of bees.  Funny how I told him that morning it’s not fair that I have to go to town every time and we should share the abuse, but in his determined way he stated, “no, I have too much to do”.  Even my attempt to do the weeding didn’t prevail and good thing it didn’t.  Had he not been here, I don’t believe I would of made the catch alone.  I probably would of been so involved in the moment that they would of disappeared as quickly as they appeared.

I looked out on the deck to see if I could see him in the garden below and noticed his bee hat and winter gloves sitting on a table on the deck.  I  proceeded to unpack the car and put the groceries away thinking it was a good possibility we had bees again.   

When he approached the back door, all I could see was his sparkling blue eyes and his white teeth.  It’s been a long time since I saw him smile like that, I knew then he had caught a swarm. 

The excitement he expressed was contagious as he proceeded to tell me how he had never seen anything like it.  He said it appeared like a string of dots about 6 feet from the soil stretching almost the entire width of the garden and the sound was deafening.

He worked quickly by himself and noticed that 5 feet separated 2 good size elongated shapes in the Dappled Willow that borders the one side of the garden.  By the time he ran up from the garden to gather a wooden box there was only one swarm left and it hung on a branch that he clipped into the box which he quickly covered with a screen.  Later he lifted the box into the garden cart and left them to settle down overnight.

Our good friend who has more beekeeping knowledge than us showed up bright and early the next morning (good friends like this are hard to find) and they were able to transfer them into our Top Bar hive where they now reside happily building comb and hopefully before long…brood.  It’s good to have them close again as they are so entertaining to watch, hence the name, "busybee".  Occasionally you’ll see the pollen attached to their bodies before they enter the hive and I always wonder what flavor the honey will be. 

Transferring the swarm

Nice Catch

  

I remember when we purchased our first 3 lb box of Italian bees from the Glorybee Factory Retail Store in Eugene in April 2011.  The workers all wore tee shirts that stated, "I work for the Queen."   We fed them for a short while until they became busy and were able to bring in their own food.  The hive was healthy and quite large before winter and we never took any honey from it.  We lifted it on one side to make sure it was heavy and never thought we would have to feed them again.  By the time we checked they had all starved and I picked bodies out of the comb one by one with tweezers.  It was heartbreaking but the pain was ours to bear as even the sad lessons in life need to be felt. 

My husband blamed himself for quite some time knowing that he starved them, and we didn’t talk much about it until the time came again for purchasing.   

We started seeing ads for swarm removal and my husband and friend kept their eyes open for anything they could possibly catch.  We decided that we didn’t want to purchase bees from California when we could capture a swarm on our own property or nearby.  We contacted everyone we could to keep his or her eyes and ears open.   

It makes it so much sweeter not to have to purchase bees with something so unnatural as money, especially when nature allows us another opportunity to learn from our mistakes.  Once again the smell of honey surrounds the homestead and the bees are in the clover, how sweet it is.

The Three E's of Community Living

I think Chris Martenson did a great job with the Three E’s (Economy, Energy, and Environment) in his DVD, Crash Course, and it made me think of words to describe what is needed in community living.

Enthusiasm is a great word that not only describes what is welcomed but needed as we all get burned out from what sometimes seems like “Groundhog Day.”  I think enthusiasm is a word that makes one smile and when shared is contagious.  I certainly don’t enjoy being around those who are mostly miserable and complain when work needs to be done.  Enthusiasm is the spark that keeps the motor going when you sometimes feel like stalling.  It’s the bounce in the step that never trips us and keeps us moving in the direction we need to go.

I witnessed this a few months ago when my husband and I visited a cohousing development in Corvallis, Oregon (http://cohoecovillage.org/index.shtml.)  While enrolled in a computer class at the community college in Eugene, my teacher announced that he lived in a cohousing development (sometimes we cohorts find each other in the most unusual places).  During a break I introduced myself telling him our story and he invited us to attend Coho's Open House/Tour that was soon coming up and we accepted graciously. 

It was our first visit to a cohousing development and we thought it might be advantageous to show up early to help with their work party, and in return we were invited to stay for lunch which was a plethora of good food including Sunflower sprouts from their garden and homemade juice. 

Our enthusiasm was well received as we dove into a different kind of work building a bark mulch trail off the main path.  It was great to accomplish something with people whom we just met and it wasn’t long before our enthusiasm sparked conversations of sharing and caring for each other. 

Generally speaking when one talks about having enthusiasm, it’s usually backed up with energy in order to accomplish the task at hand.  Whether it’s reaching consensus or shoveling manure, energy fits hand in glove with enthusiasm and not much work gets done without it. 

It’s especially hard sometimes to have the energy needed to move forward when we know the odds are against us.  As we’ve said before, living in denial of collapse is much easier than facing the fact that we are losing ground, literally as well as figuratively.  It’s like going to work every day and wondering if you’ll get a paycheck at the end of the week, month or season. 

Efficient is the third E and hopefully the end result after using our enthusiasm and energy in the most productive and least wasteful way.  Learning what is the most efficient way of doing things can take a long time so bringing together people who share different fields of knowledge will help in shortening the time that we’re running out of.

I’m sure most members of shared living/cohousing would agree that these three E’s are very important in the success of community living, and would welcome those who have these traits.

Again this weekend I felt the Energy and Enthusiasm that was shared by our small micro community knowing we could kick ass when the sun shined.  Our daughter and partner came over to help and it was refreshing for us to see these two E’s in someone other then ourselves.  Our daughter even noticed how good it made her feel to see the before and after of what we did together.

Because of the unusual amount of rain we’re having late into the season, the hand weeding hasn’t been completed and the ground is too wet to plant leaving us behind in our growing season, which is already short to begin with.
 

Winter Storm March 2012

While us girls weeded, cooked and cleaned the boys roofed the upper part of the barn and placed our new duck house in the garden.

Though we were all very tired by the end of the day rubbing our muscles with arnica and comfrey oil, we still managed to share pleasant conversation while enjoying a good meal together and the next morning we stood above the garden and below the roof of the barn admiring the work that got done.

Nasturtium in the greenhouse 2012

I haven’t enjoyed something so much as watching our granddaughter exploring nature in the garden.  At one point she sat by our garden gate facing the sun in a Buddha like position and we wondered if she had eaten some medicinal herbs.  Each morning when she woke, she grabbed her boots and headed for the door.  It’s great to remember the enthusiasm and energy we all had in our youth and for her we need to keep it going.

I watched as she followed the ducks, dug in the soil and picked dandelions that she later gave to Nana.  She watched Nature on a big screen that was better than 3D. 

I hope to always have a bit of enthusiasm and energy to share with others and I hope I can depend on others when I need it.  If you’re ever looking to share your living space with others, think about the three E’s, Enthusiasm, Energy and Efficiency, they make a big difference.

We recently launched our new website and appreciate all the hard work that went into the professional job well done by our latest community member.  We’re happy to announce it here: http://www.slipperyslope.co/

What needs to be felt

Emotional waves leaning like grain in the breeze bending to the pressure, I beckon my strength to stand tall and face the challenge of shortsightedness.  Being called “judgmental” no longer hurts as it once did.  I know I’m not always right but I also know that some things are just wrong and the many documentaries proving fact over fiction are out there if you care to watch them.

Have you ever watched something that inflicted immediate changes to your body, such as hearing your own heartbeat?  Have you ever thought about where your tears come from, and how you manage to swallow when the lump in your throat is so big?  All of this and more I felt while watching Michael Ruppert’s documentary, Collapse.

Maybe it’s the timing as I’m pulled towards the force of the full moon or maybe it’s the fact that another of my hospice patients passed recently and I long for more reading time with her, though I don’t know what she heard.  I know I find myself contemplating death more these days, though I seldom think of others dying as even hospice is about living and making the most of your time here on earth.

        

Last night and even now while typing this, I tap my foot to the rhythm of my heart nervously waiting for this too, to pass.  I hear the words again about the Titanic and remember how we got started building our lifeboat and how every day we attempt to find ways to accommodate others who haven’t started building theirs yet.

I remember when the blockbuster Avatar came out and how some saw it more than once because they said, “it moved them.”  I wondered if a Hollywood blockbuster could wake people up enough for them to feel something that would allow them to take action towards doing something good for Mother Earth and all her inhabitants.  It would be interesting to know if anyone did one thing differently after seeing it. 

        

Many sit motionless watching on the big screen the demise of their home yet move with little force to change their own behavior.  Only when we allow ourselves to feel something that is so wrong can we push ahead to act in favor of change. 

Seeing Michael Ruppert speak in 2005 and now seeing him in the documentary Collapse makes me hurt to think I can do little more than what I’m already doing.  The anger and intensity that I once heard in Ruppert’s voice has changed to heartbreak and dismiss.  As he is seen smoking cigarette after cigarette in the documentary, I can relate to his dismay and I feel anxious anticipating the outcome of collapse.

Here in my region, I watch Oregon Duck fans drive around in oversized SUV’s with green and yellow flags clinging onto both sides of the vehicle and I begin to imagine another parade… how many more before we realize those ducks will never offer us what real ducks can.  I watch my Ancona ducks as they inch their way alongside of me eating worms while I weed.  I’m flooded with thoughts of pink flamingo’s perched in my parents backyard by the birdbath and I laugh out loud at the silliness though silently I cry.

What a bill of goods we’ve been sold and some keep buying more searching for that happiness that comes quickly at a moments notice and last for seconds longer. 

Until my heart stops beating, I’ll continue to hear it’s beat and take time to feel what needs to be healed.  There are some of us who appreciate what Ruppert and others have conveyed and are living differently because of it. 

Thank you Michael and all who have tried to make us feel what we need to in order for us to change the way we live.

Off the sidelines and in the game: peak oil preparedness

My husband wrote this essay that appeared on Culturechange.org in 2008.  We think it serves as good reminder to those preparing.  While many still remain stuck and in denial, valuable time is wasting away.
  
When we embarked on this journey six years ago, I never would have believed how difficult it has been to network with people considering the amount of resources we have to work with. We have tried for the last five years to work with people in our community, well over 100 and the list is growing.


When we talk to people about peak oil/peak resources, climate and ecosystems collapsing, collapse of the financial system and our infrastructure, we find people think we’re nuts. Some are aware of these things, but they’re not concerned because they think they won’t be around to see it happen. Others know it but just won’t do anything and are too lazy, and then there are those who are in it for the money (capitalism with a smile).


It is strange to me if I was to preach hatred and bigotry I would be a valuable commodity and have people flocking to my doorstep. However, offering people a chance to live self sufficiently, responsibly, peacefully in a sustainable manner is more difficult to accomplish. The latter requires hard, physical work -- something most people don't know how to do.


Even though we expected this to be our last move, now after retirement at ages 52 and 50, we are once again thinking the unimaginable, relocating. We know that with our skills and dedication we would be a welcomed addition to someone who is trying to accomplish what we have failed to do. We must begin to build avenues to connect people with certain skills and assets; trying to educate people is not enough. Like the documentary Power of Community states, what happened in Cuba in the ‘90s was not so much technological change as it was human. Sharing responsibilities and costs will be very important in our future, as well as utilizing our resources wisely.


We have not been farmers all of our lives; we are somewhat new to this. Our lives have been nothing like the stereotypical American way. We were married at the ages of 21 and 19, not out of necessity, just young and in love. We had our two daughters five years later, and our roles have been reversed most of the time. I was “Mister Mom.” We lived on one meager income because childcare in this country is deplorable. It was our responsibility and no one else's to raise our children.


While at home I grew some of our food, did fundraising for kids activities and field trips at school, volunteered in the classrooms as well as coaching boys and girls basketball and girls soccer. Because of living on one income, I learned to barter with men 25-30 years my senior in Rogue River, Oregon where we lived at the time. One example: I roofed and painted my friend’s house and he and I built a 20’ by 24’ recreation room from start to finish. No money changed hands, just good times and friendship.


Up until six years ago, most of my life I was what one would consider a “Jock.” I loved sports, mostly hockey, football and basketball. I knew all of the stats and trades, I watched for over 40 years of how championships were won. I saw many types of styles and philosophies of play come and go. They were always in the context that you are only as strong as your weakest link. The teams' success depended on each individual player giving his or her maximum effort, and no one player regardless of how great can win by him/herself.


After 911 something changed in me and I gave up my addiction to sports. In the past seven years I have read hundreds of books by authors such as Vandana Shiva, David Korten, Arundhati Roy, Kevin Phillips, Michael Ruppert, Eckhart Tolle, George Monbiot, James Lovelock, Richard Heinberg, Matthew Simmons, James Howard Kunstler, Wendell Barry, Barbara Kingsolver, Howard Zinn, Daniel Quinn and Kurt Vonnegut.


I realize now that we were lied to. As George Carlin said, they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. All this and more caused me to take direct action.


We downsized to one car, paid off our mortgage, turned off the “idiot box,” installed an indoor clothes dryer (made by a local artisan that works with iron), and our garden that started out for fun and food became much more of a purpose and a way of life. We have hauled in tons of manure and organic compost to build up the soil creating a working system based on raised beds, crop rotation and cover cropping. We now have fifty 4’ x 26’ raised beds and a 10’ x 15’ greenhouse allowing us to do starts and grow more than enough food for three or four families, plus rows of berries as well as fruit trees. Currently we grow and process 60% of our food.


We knew all along that we would never be able to learn everything that was needed as well as do all the work ourselves. That’s why we have tried to partner up or find other like-minded people to begin together the hard work ahead of us.

I remember Richard Heinberg saying that some figured there was 1% of the population who was woken up and they had hoped to wake up to 5%. He also stated that we needed 50 million farmers for the long slog ahead.


I feel blessed that my wife of 31 years and I are on the same page. We had always planned to work together after her retirement knowing that we needed to have some income. We enjoy being around each other. We believe that in this day and age when people are losing their homes, in debt, bankrupt and pensions disappearing, we can and should be able to find partners that are hard working, in good health and have some valuable skills/resources that would help us become a complete team together. There is so much to learn and adjust to, as climate change alone is already affecting the way we grow food in Oregon.


Last year at this time, I processed well over 500 lbs of tomatoes, drying and canning. As I sit and write on this Labor Day, I have not canned one quart of tomatoes -- not many in the area to be found. This is one of the main staples in our diet.


We would like to have partners living on the property that can help make this work into a functioning way of living, saving resources and growing food for five or six families. We would also like to incorporate livestock, and renewable energy. But attracting willing partners has been most difficult, to the point that we despair and might move away. Neither of us wants to leave what we have built thus far, but if we can't find others who can help, then maybe it's time for a different arena with some new players who wants this team.


As life as we know it begins to collapse, we need a prototype system that can be easily duplicated to show others how to grow, process and store food. People will begin to act irrationally when they or their families have little to no food, so I would like to give them a choice on how to feed themselves without the violence.


In all of my years of watching and playing sports, I have never felt the sheer joy and fulfillment that I do while working in the garden. Watching a butterfly as it lands on me or feeling a hummingbird zing past my ear. The great wins I chalk up now in the CHAMPIONSHIP column are at the end of fall when cupboards are jammed to capacity, standing room only with filled canning jars, the garage walls draped with garlic and onions, and the freezer stuffed full with berries and nuts. What a SWEET VICTORY! It is time for us all to give up our additions, and live the life we were meant to live.


I have no illusions about saving the world. I would just like to be able to have a chance of living in peace and sharing before Mother Nature kicks our ass.
- - - - -
Ideas to ponder
Connecting people that have different assets:
1) Resumé Bank of people's assets, skills, knowledge and ideas.
2) Such as:
- Land, money, water, resources
With people that don't have this but have technical knowledge
- Such as:
Knowledge on farming, solar, sustainable building
3) People moving from one area of the country/state
- Such as:
A person moving from metropolitan area wanting to relocate to an area that's more sustainable, trading work for his or her stay.
4) Sharing tools/resources
5) Sharing skills such as:
- Preserving of food, cooking, sewing, repairs (home), survival skills
Investment
1) Such as:
- Someone with money that they would like to get out of the stock market/retirement funds and invest in local businesses, someone starting a business, solar energy, alternative energy and farming and manufacturing.
2) People with money who want to set up old style mercantile involving local farms and artisans for manufactured goods, clothing, etc.
3) Advising people on how best to utilize their land/resources.